I've Debated Writing About This...

All the more reason to do just that. Why now? Because I’m deeply disappointed.

Please allow me to kick some dirt out of the way as I lay down the welcome mat to this rabbit hole. In April of 2019, pre-pandemic, I was at a week-long, Dr. Joe Dispenza, meditation workshop in Mallorca, Spain. It was 3:30 a.m., about 1,000+ people from around the world were gathered together in an enormous white tent, set up just for our event. It made the strangest, sometimes creepy, sounds as the rain, thunder and wind assaulted it throughout the week. Sometimes it sounded like people were stomping on the flooring, running through the tent, but I’d open my eyes and nobody was doing anything. On this morning, we were there for a 4-hour meditation, for the purpose of activating our pineal glands.

For those who don’t know, the pineal gland is an endocrine gland. The little pine cone shaped gland, located in the epithalamus, near the center of the brain, between the two hemispheres, tucked in a groove where the two halves of the thalamus join. It does many things like producing melatonin to regulate sleep, and tend to the various functions of the central nervous system. It’s a power house. It’s the little red dot in this animation from Life Science Databases.

It’s commonly referred to as the ‘third eye.’ When conditions are just right, it’s capable of activating mystical experiences by producing the hallucinogen N,N-Dimethyltryptamine (our natural DMT.) And that’s where the entrance to this rabbit hole begins. I’ve never before or since, had an experience this extraordinary. I’ve had many other experiences, but this was different.

Back to the tent. We all had a chair and a space for laying down on the floor. Within about 30 minutes of the start of the meditation, I was still sitting in my chair, eyes closed, when I noticed what looked like stars rushing at me, or was I rushing through them? Like being duct taped to the nose of a rocket ship, they came at me fast, yet never got closer.

Dr. Joe instructed us to lay down. Keeping my focus, I quickly dropped to my sleeping bag, mesmerized by my current state and not wanting to think my way out of it.

I saw a huge, gassy edged, eye-shaped black hole to my right and thought, “I’ll go in there!” I actually passed through it. Suddenly, faces were rushing at me, old men, one bald one with a disturbing expression, I didn’t recognize any, nobody looked very happy, I didn’t acknowledge them, I just kept shooting forward. Suddenly, blue framed geometric shapes were coming at me, yet never touching me. They seemed familiar, like tools and structures, meanings and purposes that I should recognize and know how to use.

Then, I seemed to be grounded somewhere, but only conscious of my head, not my body, as I peeked out from the shadows behind a small building, in what resembled an old western town. It had a dirt road and facades of little storefronts down both sides of the dirt road. I was watching this creature on the road, walking towards me. It was about 6’ tall, I saw it as male. It was like a bird, but not. It had red reptilian skin and a beak, and the familiar ET eyes. And, hooves, sort of like a horse. It also had huge breast-like protrusions that hung down to its knobby little knees. It was aware of me. It kept walking towards me, as I continued to peak out from behind the building. But it never got closer to me. Like it was walking on a treadmill.

I then heard Dr. Joe instruct us to get back in our chairs, the time was already up! I tried to sit up. It was like pulling myself, crawling, the last 5 feet, to the top of Mount Everest. I was suddenly being forcefully sucked back into my body, as if at the end of a retractable dog leash. As my butt barely hit the seat, I saw the faces again, hundreds of them, speeding by, but I’m being pulled the other way. I am crashing into what I knew were white rings of frequency bursts bombarding my head and body and I felt them. I felt like I was being pulled through dimensions as I struggled to sit on the folding chair. I was completely discombobulated as I realized what felt like a hyper-real 20 minutes, more real than any dream or “reality,” was actually about 3 ½ hours. I look at my friend who was rubbing her eyes, looking like she may have fallen asleep. “How was it?” She asked.

When I got home, the creature was still so vivid in my mind, I was able to re-create it

in Photoshop, exactly as I saw it. I figured it must be some kind of a pet since it had no arms or hands that I could tell. I never had any interest whatsoever in aliens. Never gave it much thought. Figured there had to be more than just us. It would be like saying we can’t see past the headlights on our car, so there must not be anything beyond that. I did some research online for red, reptilian aliens, for kicks. I found a strange little site that talked about them and others in the Universe, but not my 'hooved birdtilian.’ They had people I could contact. I sent the picture of my creature to a couple of them and nobody ever responded. It seemed everything I picked up, unintentionally, lead to aliens. The Universe wanted me to know about them.

To take a break from the alien thing, I decided to read some books by the now deceased, hypnotist, Delores Cannon, from Arkansas. I knew nothing about her. I thought I’d read about hypnosis and past lives. She hypnotized 1,000’s of regular people around the world, only to discover that her technique brought out lives lived on other planets, perhaps parallel realities, in very similar, detailed descriptions. The GAIA streaming channel kept popping up on my radar, 3 times is my rule, so I subscribed. I thought it was a yoga and health channel.

At first, I watched some of the health/science-related things. Scientist, Greg Braden, Physicist, Dr. Theresa Bullard and HeartMath. Many fascinating interviews on Open Minds, by Regina Meredith. Then some things about ancient civilizations, which apparently had a fairly good ET relationship. Then I watched Reuben Langdon, with his Interviews With E.D.- Extra-Dimensional conversations, people who can channel collectives, (many souls who speak as one entity,) or individuals from other dimensions. Holy crap. Some of which I thought were not honestly able to successfully channel. I decided to take the ride, see what it was all about. GAIA seemed a wealth of information on many subjects, and I’m a curious person.

Then I watched Deep Space where I was informed the moon is actually a hollow satellite. This one messed with me for a while, I was devastated. Sometimes the information varied and I was not 100% on board with the hollow moon.

One thing I found intriguing was that the beautifully executed background graphics on many of the shows, were often times very similar, if not exactly, to what I experienced in Spain. Particularly space rushing towards me and the same geometric blue shapes right down to the particular shade of blue! Initiation with Matias Di Stefano, was a mind-blowing series. A young, very intelligent man from Argentina, describing his memories of past lives, ancient civilizations and the creation of the Universe. It made more sense to me than anything I’ve heard so far. It just rang true for me as there were no mandates or dogma involved, he was just very matter-of-fact as to what his particular experience was, and that there were others who would have different experiences and perspectives. He made sense of a very complex topic. Why not consider the possibilities?

It was shortly after that, I concluded we are no more than a veiled, DNA, ET lab experiment here on earth and probably, intentionally, the most overly emotional and unwise of all the estimated two trillion species in the multi-verse. That said, they still love us, most of them anyway. But more than us, they love the planet. That’s why they are observing us. That’s why they want us to raise our consciousness. As a collective consciousness, we're getting better, but a far cry from how destructive we still are to each other, like chopping off heads and waging war, to trashing the planet. A nuclear bomb resonates further than we think. ‘Quantum entanglement,’ it’s real, we’re all connected. They were once where we are, and hoping now we wake up, before we self-destruct. I know all of this brings up questions. Explore it for yourself, just be sure to bring an open mind. Best, most entertaining, $99 I ever spent to wander, and wonder in the GAIAsphere wonderland. I will most certainly wander and wonder for another year, when that is up.

Now, to why I’m so disappointed. I watched Cosmic Disclosure, The Secret Space Program, (SSP). I binged nightly on all 11 seasons. Hey, it’s the pandemic. Many retired military, CIA and other government retirees were interviewed. Courageous, intelligent people with stellar backgrounds. Jason Rice, Randy Kramer, Sargent Clifford Stone and other individuals who have willingly undergone lie-detector tests, hypnosis and background checks, GAIA is thorough. Their stories and knowledge, genuine emotion, interview after interview, put me in the “You can’t convince me of anything different now,” camp. Particularly, since many have been traumatized, had their lives threatened and been endlessly harassed. They’ve lost so much already, and they still come forward for the sake of disclosure, and the betterment of humanity.

I’m now officially, a “fringe” person. I join thousands of others who are dissatisfied with disinformation and bullying. I will undoubtedly lose more friends. Such are the potholes on the road to spiritual bliss, as others think we’ve “lost it.” And perhaps, ‘it’ needed to be lost. A programmed way of thought that also asks us to just believe something because the majority do, and we have for so long now. Change is so icky and so many scientists would have to admit they were wrong about way too many things.

Emery Smith, is a badass, retired Air Force, scientist, inventor, patent holder and passionate advocate of full disclosure of the technologies we’ve reverse engineered from ET crafts, and soooo much more. He is a hero. After watching all his very articulate interviews, Season 3, interviewed by George Noory, about his own personal experiences working in the “Projects”, insanely interesting, I can see why he is now the host of Cosmic Disclosure. Here is a list, just the tippy tip of some of the fascinating technology the government, and the huge corporations keep from us, and the root of my disappointment.

· They can 3D print food, within seconds, the most delicious version of that meal, ever cooked, at the push of a button. There is no reason for hunger in the world with this technology in existence.

· They can get rid of radiation, within minutes, like Fukushima’s. There is no need for the earth, people and creatures in the sea, and on land, to be contaminated.

· Every Extra-terrestrial autopsied had human DNA in its tissues. Yeah, truly, we’re all connected. But it's even more interesting than just that.

· We can re-generate lost limbs. Why do the people who hold this technology stand by as people suffer?

· Clean water, clean, free energy-we’ve got it. Could sure use it out here, hello?

· Time travel. An incredible underground transportation network. We can get anywhere, from anywhere, in minutes.

What i$ the point? I can’t begin to enumerate what has been kept from us. I see media disclosure coming out in drips. In disgust, I don’t even click on it. It is usually fear based and full of half truths.

If we are in fear, we will never be living from the heart, peacefully on our way to ascension, and realizing how powerful we are. AI is here to make sure that we stay in our heads and the lower 3 energy centers for survival, as we continue to be fed endless distractions and stare at our phones. In the throes of a pandemic, they show us a giant killer wasp, telling us it’s on the lose!

They acclimate us to inviting Artificial Intelligence, into our homes, "Hey Siri, hey Bixby." And onto, Fitbit (hmm...not sure where else that info goes...) soon to be into, our bodies. Elon Musk said, “AI will be the end of humanity.” Yet, there he stands on the leading edge of it, pushing, pushing, slowly eclipsing our innate capability and predilection for the expansion and ascension of human consciousness. Not all tech is bad tech. Only that that takes away our freedoms, health, safety and privacy.

So, I’m still in the rabbit hole, and pulling the hole in after me as I continue to dig deeper. Did you know that Saturn has a constant, PERFECT and huge, jet stream cloud, hexagon pattern, on its North Pole? There’s a picture of it. I find this very intriguing.